Biting cold, the bitter
chill of early February. A time usually reserved for happy faces
faces among parents with Valentine's day just around the corner and
the recovery from Christmas expenditure, and weight gain, on it's way
out. On our way from thirteen May Avenue. I never believed in
superstition, but I was starting to think there nigh be something to
it. The 'new' car my Mum had just bought for her new job. There was
meant to be a heating system but coats were still needed inside even
on warmer days. Despite the cold, were you to look towards the skies
you might be fooled into thinking that a coat was not a necessity.
You would be wrong, mislead and fought by the cold. Finding yourself
among the unfortunate many that fall ill in these conditions. We
pulled in, still yet to park, never an easy task for Mum but under
the conditions she was finding it more difficult that usual. She
crept slowly, both of us awaiting in silence to get this done and
find out the results. Silence struck. The radio, which had been a
great distraction to myself apparently was not having the same effect
on my Mum. Stepping out of the car it felt warmer outside than in the
car. That thought was removed by the wind which bludgeoned into my
face forcing me backwards. Shutting my eyes to make sure they weren't
forced into my head. I was then warmed by the arm across my
shoulders, I looked up smiling. She was doing the same and probably
for the same reason. Not because we were happy but because we both
knew that the other needed the reassurance that everything would be
okay.
The doors slid open
and just as the biting cold removed it's teeth from my neck I was
hit. The smell of death, a mix of chicken that has been left for too
long and sewage. As soon as I entered I felt weak and ill. My eyes
fluttered and began to role up into my head, I almost fell onto the
man who entered next to me. Regaining my balance I stood swaying in
the entrance, the smell had left and I was enjoying the warmth. A
warmth that didn't help the smell which had now returned on my in
breath. I almost fell again; blood festering in hidden corners and
the mask of overused cleaning product. The more detail of this smell
I got only made it worse. I felt more ill entering than I ever did
leaving, a horrific irony upon entering a hospital. I held my breath,
I never wanted to smell anything again. I couldn't hold it longer, I
inhaled, this time through my mouth and now I could taste the putrid
odour.
I can't remember much after that, the next thing I knew I
was in a wheel chair being taken up in a lift. I don't remember the
rest of the journey in the lift, I never did do well in enclosed
spaces.
When I finally came
round properly, I was entering his private room. The first thing I
saw was his arm. I was eleven at the time and beginning to learn more
about the world. Fractions, tectonic plates and the rise and fall of
Rome. The hardest lesson I learnt that year was that, my Dad wasn't
the pillar of strength I saw him as. He wasn't invincible.
Tubes we stuck under
his flesh and the beeping from the machines pierced my now alert
ears. He had markings all over his arms, the doctor a Dr Shaw, told
us that this was so they could see how the swelling on his arm was
reacting to the treatment. I checked again. The bright red mass was
protruding well over the markings, surely not a good sign. We walked
into the room. As the door clicked into place behind use his body
shifted. Eyes flickering and his body being jolted into
consciousness. Hairs began to stand on end as the cold, blew past his
now aware body and the pain again became apparent to him. Mum rushed
straight to his side placing a hand on his forehead and looking into
his eyes, the corner of his mouth lifted and it wasn't easy for him
to do so. I was now stood as the nurse that helped me to the room
didn't think it was needed any longer as I was feeling much better,
or so I said. I knew I wouldn't be right until I left, it was the
same with any medical place.
I stood watching the
two heroes of my reduced to tears, I didn't know what to do I just
stood and watched. What could I do now? I'm not sure asking Mum and
Dad would help in this situation.
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